1. |
Amateurs Forever
01:37
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Simultaneous lavender leather! (on the brain)
The whole gang wearing car seat pleather!
Amateurs, amateurs forever,
We love when 2 things happen together!
Simultaneous lavender leather! (in the mind)
The whole gang wearing car seat pleather!
Amateurs, amateurs forever
We love when 2 things happen together!
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
Amateurs! Amateurs forever!
Amateurs! Amateurs forever!
Knocking down or sitting on fences (or)
The whole gang loves coincidences
The whole gang loves taking chances (or)
The whole gang loves coincidances
We do whatever or something clever (or)
We do whatever or something clever (or)
Amateurs, amateurs forever
Amateurs, amateurs forever!
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
I don't wanna be a professional
Amateurs! Amateurs forever!
Amateurs! Amateurs forever!
[and then, dear listener, in the spirit of celebrating coincidence, the recording documents the results of the below lines, selected randomly, 2 at a time, from recorded performances of said lines by all members of the band]
Simultaneous lavender leather!
The whole gang wearing car seat pleather!
Amateurs, amateurs forever,
We love when 2 things happen together!
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2. |
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Peruse the collection. Engage with the content. Functional objects in glass coffins - take a photo of the functional objects!
Grab a latte. Use the hashtag. Look at the remnants of the ancient peoples - they're all dead now we collected their stuff!
How can we destroy the museum?
Understanding the variety of human experience, marveling at the beauty of worldwide ceramics - it's really nice, I just like it...
As long as there's taxonomy there's always a "they". Singling out difference doesn't mean there's a "normal". If you're a dinosaur you don't have any rights.
How can we destroy the museum?
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3. |
Volcano Baby Man
01:31
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I wanted to wake up in Sicily
And not remember where I'd been
Not know where I was waking
Wanted to be the baby, man!
Baby! Baby Man!
Dunno why I'm crying
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
Baby! Baby Man!
Dunno why I'm crying
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
We drove up the volcano
Wearing Valentina's coats
It was cloudy, it was rainy
Let me be the baby, baby!
Baby! Baby Man!
I wish you could pick me up
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
Baby! Baby Man!
I wish you could pick me up
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
Valentina said she wasn't scared
She understands Lady Etna
She's to be respected as a mother
But I'm just a baby, mumma!
Baby! Baby Man!
I only wanna eat ice cream
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
Baby! Baby Man!
I only wanna eat ice cream
Volcano going off and
I'm the Baby Man
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4. |
Gone Viral
01:23
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Making waste and reproducing
We're the only thing that causes pollution
Building buildings and chopping trees
Processed foods in factories
And it's the fault of the superior frontal gyrus
That you can't help but feel like you're a virus
Stealing all the honey
Killing all the bees
Can't help but feel like a fucking disease
Wasting time watching clips of cats
Gone viral and I'm sick of that
I think it started with screaming frogs
shouting goats and funny dogs
And it breaks your heart like Billy Ray Cyrus
When you can't help but feel like you're a virus
Piss away your life with so much ease
Can't help but feel like a fucking disease
Can't help but feel like a fucking disease
Can't help but feel like a fucking disease
I've got fire in my belly and I'm struggling to breathe
And I can't help but feel like a fucking disease.
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5. |
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Thought I might be sick
Didn't go to work
Now I'm eating veggie burger
Sitting in the sun
If I get burnt
What will they say?
Girl opposite me
Has forgotten she got cake
Guys on the other side
Feeling cool in black and grey
I feel weak in white
Lets hear it again
Thought I might be sick
Didn't go to work
Now I'm eating veggie burger
Sitting in the sun
If I get burnt
What will they say?
Girl opposite me
Has forgotten she got cake
Guys on the other side
Feeling cool in black and grey
I feel weak in white
Here 's what I heard the girl say;
Holly in my studio had to kill an eel, they were
Gonna use it for a shoot
Left it in the fridge to die
They left it there overnight
In the morning the fridge was unplugged
They didn't know if it had died
In the morning the fridge was turned off
They couldn't tell if it was alive
Then, she did a movement, that was the movement of the eel, that had not died, she said that her and Holly cried
Didn't even use the eel
So Holly took it home as a pet
It wasn't the only time that they thought it
Was dead
This other time they had even dug a grave
At the last minute, it wriggled again
I guess they thought, enough is enough and
Between then decided to cut it in half
Animal don't give a shit about your art!
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6. |
George Saunders Story
00:57
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I read a George Saunders story
To Lou the other night
It caught us by surprise
At the end we both cried
I can't remember what it was called
Wouldn't like to describe it at all
But you really should hear
The way that it was told
Thing is that it wasn't sad
Or sentimental at all
It just was so true
it was the truth that made us cry
Something so uniquely combining
Its form and content
You can't question it or pull it apart
Like a geode in your palm
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7. |
Dog Chocolate 1995
02:09
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First time I saw Dog Chocolate it was 1995 (do I get a documentary?)
They were dressed in velvet, I was sick on my shoes, it changed my flippin life (reinforce my authenticity)
Now I've got lower back pain and sciatica in my thigh (who are my talking heads gonna be?)
I listen to Dog Chocolate in the gym while I calculate my BMI (heritage pop music industry)
The image of Bubbles in a puffa is adopted by Puffa
And by companies that make bubble liquid (when do I become the dog I meant to be?)
Con Air is used for English language listening exams
In Denmark and in Sweden (when do I become the dog I meant to be?)
Supermalt publicly apologise for not getting
Back about that sponsorship idea and the band get lifetime supply of the drink (when do I become the dog I meant to be?)
Tony out of Tony's Umbrella gets a cult following
And marries the girl of his dreams in an umbrella themed wedding (when do I become the dog I meant to be?)
Turning over a hazelnut in the middle of your palm. Music is great but it's so much less than everything you are. Throw my guitar in the bin, bury my guitar in a deep damp hole, put my guitar on the bonfire, stop playing that stupid song!
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8. |
What's The Crux?
01:42
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Looking for the place to start
Gotta find out, what's the crux?
Without the thing I won't get far
Gotta work out, how it works.
One object in this mess of a room
Will solve the puzzle
Unlock the chain to a piece of peace
Clear away the rubble
Coat-hanger, mayonnaise, LP, can of spray paint?
Wots the crux?
Receipt, garlic, headphones, old toilet roll tube?
Wots the crux?
Tiny branch, plasticine, train ticket, pile of zines?
Wots the crux?
Orange hat, birthday car, dead plant, rock, gloves?
Wots the crux?
Let the crux
Show itself
Watch as your
Path aligns
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9. |
The CDR's Won't Last
00:44
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[fyi dear listener; only Andrew, who wrote the lyrics, knew the lyrics before the moment of recording. His track was then sung over by Jonathan, Matthew and Robert, who tried as best they could to keep up. Only the first takes were used. In fact, the music was created in a similar way, before the mixed thing was re-arranged]
The CDRs won't last
It's a farce
I'm scared we're losing our grip on the past
Put the CD in the player... arse!
Those albums we made, we were still in class
Oh shit, time moves so fast
And the CDR is spinning so fast
These songs might have played their last
Nothing comes out but a mechanical rasp
I hope this shit's on memory cards
The CDRS won't last!
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10. |
Tesco Flag
03:33
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A child waving a tiny, plastic union jack. It's got the flag on the front, it says "TESCO" on the back. He's grinning widely at a giant plasma screen, cheering the image of a pastel-coloured queen.
England is spagetti that got dropped on the floor, got covered in dust and now we're boiling some more. It's a pair of pyjamas with a hole in the crotch, keeps it feet in the past while it's darning its socks. England is a pencil line drawn on the ground, each generation an eraser that is rubbing it out. Countries clipping their toenails. Countries squeezing their zits. Countries, to humans, are what heads are to nits.
Racist boys of Royal Tunbridge Wells
Take a good hard look at yourselves
Do you really want us all to be just like you?
Bored, bitter, stupid with nothing to do?
What can I say after what you said -
The words you used for a scarf over my head?
You said take it down in respect for the troops
What the fuck are you on about? Fuck you!
I might have been too scared to fight, but you were too scared to talk.
(Mr Punch: Ridley Walker's gone to show, Ridley Walker's on the go, don't go Riddley Walker's track, Drop John's riding on his back)
I'm a nit, I'm a nit - I'm going down to Tescos
I'm a nit, I'm a nit - do you want anything from the shops?
I'm a nit, I'm a nit - Tesco Extra's really big
I'm a nit, I'm a nit - they've got enough blood to go around
I'm a nit I'm a nit I'm a nit I'm a nit
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11. |
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I finished my sketchbook today
Tropes and characters that created themselves
Stack Bods, Actionmen, blobs with beaks
The last page saw coloured fine-liners
I explored the idea of duck sticks;
Body of a stick, head of a duck
That faced a page I'd done in the back
In yellow highlighter I'd drawn and written
In yellow highlighter I'd drawn and written
In yellow highlighter I'd drawn and written;
"Snakes and boulders in shallow waters"
"Snakes and boulders in shallow waters"
Snakes and boulders, snakes and boulders
"Snakes and boulders in shallow waters"
I flick through the middle of the book
A4 and thick, a publisher's dummy
A pile of shapes vaguely making a body
A hat with a feather in it
A bone bent into the shape of a knot
Ladders propped up against various rocks
Always the hill with the embellished top
Description of a full back tattoo
Description of a full back tattoo
Description of a full back tattoo;
"Tutankhamun with Pinocchio's nose"
"Tutankhamun with Pinocchio's nose"
Tutankhamun! Pinocchio's nose!
On an oiled back, stripped of clothes
These images come in a flash
Non-specific logos and symbols
Strange images as I woke
The drag queen band lived at your house
The were aggressive and impressive but broke
It was a challenge to have them around
Matching images as we slept;
We both nearly bought red moccasin shoes!
We both nearly bought red moccasin shoes!
We both nearly bought red moccasin shoes!
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
Snakes and boulders, snakes and boulders
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
Snakes and boulders, snakes and boulders
Snakes and boulders in shallow waters
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12. |
Fix Fings
02:25
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Call me on the walkie talkie
Tell me what the problem is
I'll access the situation and
Bring the relevant kit
Any small damages
Maybe bigger ones too, just
Feed me in open-face sandwiches
And I'll do whatever I can do
You know the shower rail was broken,
Hanging out the crumbling wall?
I fixed it with my mic stand
I don't need it after all
It took over ten years to buy one,
Fifteen years of weird punk rock
And we never got in the position
To decided if we should tell the NME to fuck off
Wingnuts, cable ties, gaffer tape, Bondaweb
Wingnuts, cable ties, gaffer tape, Bondaweb
I, I, I I I I
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
Free me from (I (I))
Self indulgence (I wanna (I wanna))
I'll find myself (I wanna fix (wanna fix))
Helping others (I wanna fix fings)
My future's as (I wanna fix fings that )
A Neanderthal (Need fixing I)
My past is landing (Wanna fix everything)
On the moon (For you)
Free me from (I (I))
Self indulgence (I wanna (I wanna))
I'll find myself (I wanna fix (wanna fix))
Helping others (I wanna fix fings)
My future's as (I wanna fix fings that )
A Neanderthal (Need fixing I)
My past is landing (Wanna fix everything)
On the moon (For you)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
I (I)
I wanna (I wanna)
I wanna fix (wanna fix)
I wanna fix fings
I wanna fix fings that
Need fixing I
Wanna fix everything
For you
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Dog Chocolate London, UK
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SHOWS:
29/08/2019 - The Pipeline, Brighton
01/09/2019 - The Moon, Cardiff
02/09/2019 - EartH, London
06/10/2019 - The Victoria Dalston, London
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